Joke corner

[scarybush]

well... I thought to open a joke corner...

everybody is invited to post their best jokes ;D

Well... em... I will beginn:

I hope everybody knows what a limerick is

Once there was a Quizz show in Australia: In the final there are now only two candidates with the same highscore: A rabbie and a shepherd.
The Quizmaster is a little bit desperate about the situation because he doesn´t know how to announce the winner. Than he has the idea: every candidate has to say a limerick with the word Timbuktu. The best of both should be the winner.

The first turn has the rabbie: He says:
"I was a rabbie all my live,
has no children and no whife.
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu."

-applause-

Now the shepherd´s turn: He is thinking a while and begins:
"Tim and I to Brisbane went,
three ladys came in our tent,
but they were three and we were two
so I booked one and Tim booked two."

[TinA]

Q. Whats got 500 legs and no pubic hair?

A. The Front row of a Westlife concert

------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit
the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books he
turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What
do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back
to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of
candles." "Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his
unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his
obnoxious way:

"What about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying
to trap him with an unanswerable question "We collect them and send them
back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of
matzo balls."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster
the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he went on, "what do you do with all
the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?" "Here, too, we
do not waste," answered the Rabbi.

"What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office,
and about once a year they send us a complete thingy."